Between three business, two little ladies running around, two dogs, the dishes and laundry, and lets not even talk about the yard. Somedays I feel like superwoman, others I am not sure which way is up. I have come to hold these five practices as sacred. I feel more grounded and better equipped to rock this beautiful messy life of mine.
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Today, this life feels hard. Maybe not just today maybe it is just this stage of life, maybe this season in my 30’s building a business and building a family, staying connected to myself and hubby, friends, family!
Exhaustion is my dear friend, it reminds me a little bit of Liz Gilbert talking about fear riding shotgun but never being allowed to drive... except sometimes you have to drive even when exhausted. It is levels and layers of exhaustion — mental, physical, and emotional. It is exhausting to have patience all the time (ok, let's be real no one has it all the time, but if I am batting 85% I am stoked). There is the constant juggle of nap schedules, school drop-offs & pick-ups, dance, soccer, and a workout and shower for myself.
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As a woman, and as a mom, I’ve been learning how to ask a question that was previously considered selfish and incredibly foreign to me: what do I want?
I remember sitting across from my therapist - pregnant, emotional and tired of a lifestyle of people pleasing and knowing that with the birth of my first child I had to do something different. She leaned forward, looked me in the eyes, and gently asked: “What do you want?” I blinked back at her: “I don’t know.” She told me that was ok, that the simple act of continuing to ask myself that question would eventually result in answers. It would take time.
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Well a couple weeks later after a little bit of market research and a few conversations that went something like… Yes! Do it. – Please do it! – I want that!! And here we are! We did it! From there we put out the call asking our friends and family, our villages which make parenting possible for their wisdoms. We received so much beautiful wisdom. Self-care, compassion, empathy, trusting your intuition and learning to let go.
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From the moment I shared the news that I was pregnant with my first-born I received wanted, and the oh-so-dreaded unwanted advice, about everything related to my body and then my baby, and now these days how to parent two toddler boys very close in age. I remember filling out a form for a care provider early after my first was born that asked, “what’s your parenting method?” and being stumped, then feeling guilty that I didn’t know the options nor had decided upon one. I finally just wrote “loving our children and trying to do the best we can.”
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