An excerpt from “Going Beyond Mom: How to Activate Your Mind, Body & Business After Baby”
Things are not the same and it is okay to freak out!
We’ve spent some time talking about everyone else—for this conversation let’s refer to them as the external relationships in our life. But now it’s time to get into the nitty gritty, meaty, deeper conversation, and that’s the new relationship we must navigate with ourselves. Why can it be so challenging to reacquaint with the woman who is now a mom? The most simple explanation is that everything has changed. Your body, your thinking, time you have to spend on yourself and, frankly, your entire perception of what it means to be “accomplished” has changed. In the early days, a shower is an accomplishment, where, at one point, negotiating a deal in the corporate world may have been your definition. All these shifts can be overwhelming, and I admit I had a hard time with my new self, which is why this subject is particularly dear to my heart. I had real issues with the layer of belly fat that hung on for months, and felt perplexed as to why certain friendships didn’t seem to click anymore. I was always rushing, but, to be frank, I wasn’t rushing for sex. Let’s just say this was not how I would’ve defined myself or my life prior to my child arriving on the planet.
So how did I get through it? The answer is simple. But implementing it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The answer is that you have to let go of how things were in the past and accept that change is the name of the game. Let me say it in another way. You may have had the tightest abs, an astounding sexual appetite, and a posse of friends reminiscent of Sex and the City, but this moment is different than that. Can you accept that without judgment and self-criticism?
This is not something to be glossed over. This is really a vital part of the process. Understand that, if you cannot accept that things have changed and that it is okay, new you will have a hard time blossoming because you will always be longing for old you.
And we want new you to blossom! She is evolving and she is quite the intriguing character. When I finally accepted that things were different, it allowed me to bask in the freedom, in the possibility surrounding the process that is change. It allowed me to ask questions about how I want my life to look moving forward and I realized, shockingly, that I had clung to certain aspects of my life that weren’t totally what I wanted in the first place. Call me a “creative spirit” or call me a Libra—I never knew how to connect all the things I loved to do. I loved being a yoga instructor, I loved the media world, strategic problem solving, and I loved being a mama. As I began to accept that life looked different and wouldn’t operate exactly how it had before, I began to accept that the things I loved were real parts of me, not just some passing phase. I also started to understand that I wanted both productivity and flexibility. I knew I didn’t want to work for anyone else and that I was no longer afraid to launch something. Owning these facts about myself nurtured the fertile ground for Beyond Mom to be seeded and flourish.
Randi Zinn is Randi Zinn is an author, mindfulness and wellness expert, and founder of Beyond Mom. Born from her own experience of motherhood, Beyond Mom is harnessing a movement of women who are taking back their right to self-love, self-care and community as a pathway to fulfillment.
Randi is an ambassador for Athleta and has partnered with Deepak Chopra Homebase at ABC Home, Loyal Hana, WellRounded NY, HeyMama Co, SHE Summit, Appleseeds, SoulCycle, The Mother Company, and IntenSati and Physique 57.
Randi’s book Going Beyond Mom- How to Activate Your Mind, Body & Business After Baby was published in September 2017.